I am proud to announce that tomorrow marks the beginning of “Landon Acknowledge Me Poetry Week!”

I reserve the right to change this to a month. Actually…let me start over:

I am proud to announce that tomorrow marks the beginning of “Landon Acknowledge Me Poetry Month!”

Is Landon excited? You’re damn straight he is – see below for his reaction!

Tom: Landon. Stop with the negativity, and submit a piece of poetry.

Tom: Perhaps a Haiku.

Tom: Maychance a sonnet.

Tom: Dare I say – a limerick?

Landon: You dare not.

Landon: Thou may not.

Tom: But maychance I?

Landon: Naychance in hell

I was informed today that I could tag people in my IM list, to be notified when that person comes online.

I don’t actually know how I can properly repay this gift that was given to me.

But I do know that Landon will be reaping all the benefits.

13/10 he will never be alone again.

Tom: Landon. We should get jerseys. Cuz we make a good team.

Landon: Pass

Tom: How about similarly colored t-shirts.

Landon: No

Tom: How about those disgusting mesh jerseys they handed out at gym class.

Landon: Gross, no

Tom: How about we both wear our matching otter lockets.

Landon: No

Tom: How about we both just wear biz casual on Monday.

Landon: Ok

Tom: Thanks, teammate.

Tom (1:09 pm): How has your day been, Landon

Tom (3:49 pm): Fine, die then

Landon: Cuz ur a moron

Tom: Can I bring snacks?

Landon: Sure

Tom: Can we go to Taco Bell?

Landon: No

Tom: I meant now

Landon: Still no

Tom: On my way

Landon: Pass

Tom: Ah, more of a Wendy’s guy I see

Landon: Ur gross

Tom: You’re intelligent, thoughtful, and a meaningful asset to have in my life

Tom: I’m outside

He asked me where our next adventure would be to.

I said Rhinelander.

That immediately ended the conversation.

Like, I’m sorry – I figured the trees, alcohol, and general lack of a population would give him fond memories of his home town.

I feel like I missed a golden opportunity.

 

 

I wished him a happy Easter.

His response included references to:

• The eternal hellfire
• The loss of God’s favor
• The Weakness of Humanity
• The pride and greed of Lucifer
• The inevitable downfall of mankind brought about by our own unquenchable ambition

It was the single longest message I’ve ever received from him.

Going forward, I’ll make sure to leverage religious angst for future acknowledgement.

He was strangely non-committal to my proposed friendship-trip to Aspen.

Like Jesus, I’m sorry you don’t wanna bro out in a secluded ski cabin.

0/10 acknowledgement.

Apparently “Do Not Disturb” in an office setting is more than just a loose suggestion.

It is also, apparently, not an implicit invitation to send repeated e-mails to that person – supposedly doing this also falls under the umbrella of “Disturbing”.

Who knew?

Hopefully, Landon learns in the future to not pretend to be busy.

Because I have learned nothing.

Landon (12:22 pm): tom

Tom (1:05 pm): Landon

Tom (1:23 pm): Acknowledge

Tom (1:28 pm): Acknowledge

Tom (1:40 pm): Acknowledge

Tom (1:45 pm): Acknowledge

Tom (1:49 pm): You’ll miss me when I’m dead

Tom (1:53 pm): Acknowledge