Disclaimer: I know there are technically more than 12 days remaining until Christmas from the time of this blog post. However, given my clearly established inability to maintain this blog with any sort of real consistency, and the unlikelihood that Landon is able to manage doing something interesting for 12 straight days, I’ve decided to get a head start. Enjoy.
In advance of this post, I would like to apologize for the dearth of Landon-related blog activity these last 4 months. It’s not that Landon hasn’t done anything interesting, nauseating, humiliating, or otherwise blog-inducing during this time. In fact, highlights of the last few months have included:
- “The Globe Incident” – A candid tale of overconsumption, offensive (yet flattering) Halloween costumes, and a poor young woman caught in-between
- “Meeting the Parents” – An important (and long overdue) milestone in any great relationship
- “I’ll Have the Mole” – A story of mild speech impediment, inadvertent cultural insensitivity, and $5 chicken
- “Project Tracker Pandemonium” – A comprehensive evaluation of corporate project tracking capabilities, best practices in technological risk management, and the beginning of a self-destructive relationship with Taco Bell
All of these events will be subject to future blog posts in a series I’m titling: The Lost Levels – A Series of Landon-Related Events That Happened Far Enough in the Past that Fewer People Will Call me Out for Taking Creative Liberties.
Anyway. Moving on to more topical events.
Last night was the company Holiday Party, and an affirmation of a troubling trend I’ve been noticing for the past few months – namely, Landon associating with other people and friend groups.
No, this isn’t a critique on that truck-owning friendship poacher, Stephen (the subject and/or focus of future blog posts and potential restraining orders). It’s a critique of fellow company partners and their insensitivity in assuming that I have the emotional stability and mental fortitude to share my friends with others.
Some of the most egregious acts of the evening included:
- Ditching us within 10 minutes of entry to say hi to coworkers from a former team
- Leaving me to get food without notice or forewarning
- Making eye-contact with the bartender
- Wearing a checkered grey jacket, overlaying a pink shirt (while woefully neglecting to complete the ensemble with a bolo tie)
This was later followed up with a brief bar crawl, in which he ran at a safe distance ahead of me while walking between destinations, and strategically yet hurtfully managed to keep various pillars, tables, and traffic-related obstacles between us.
I barely even agreed to drive him home after.
Landon Acknowledge Me 