You once were a catholic boy
Who never learned to share his toys
You grew to a sarcastic teen
That was only sometimes mean
You will be a grumpy old man
Scaring children is your plan
But Grumpy¹ someday you’ll learn
You do not need to act so stern
So acknowledge Tom today
You know he’s not going away²
Commentary
Today’s submission for Landon Acknowledge Me poetry month comes from who Landon himself has dubbed ‘McQueen’, known more fully for her aggressive requests for baked goods, inability to secure a personal desk/working space, and pro-level basketball skills (If only her passion for industrial engineering hadn’t taken precedence over her professional career) – Nicole. Known for the duration of this blog as WarbleGarble.
You’ll notice that WarbleGarble used her poem to walk us through the progression of Landon’s life, and how it systematically led him to where he is today- a device commonly referred to as an “Unbroken Chain of Regrets and Missed Opportunities”. This device is also commonly used in various real life crises – mid-life, existential, or otherwise.
Footnotes
1.) Another common, albeit less widely adopted, title and nickname for Landon. It’s speculated that this is, in fact, a shortened version of the original title – “Gruff & Stumpy“.
2.) Readers should understand that this line is not only true, but was the (unlicensed) inspiration for the plots of cinematic horror hits “It Follows”, “Psycho”, and “Old Yeller”. Lawsuits are pending – My lawyer has described me as “Ambitious, yet delusional; Short of stature, yet even shorter of character; Lacking the mental fitness to be entrusted with an internet connection and a lawyer”. Perhaps a lesson to go outside of your family for legal representation.
Landon Acknowledge Me 