Although sarcastic, angry, and intense
Although sardonic, huffy, and severe
Despite undue, unfair, unjust offense
Despite unjustified, disgruntled sneer
Whereas myself, elated and content
Attempt dispersing friendship and esteem
Whereas myself, ecstatic and unbent
Attempt creating an unbroken team¹
Regardless of confusion this provokes
Upon communal friends, among unnamed
Regardless of amusement this evokes
Upon unknowing, thoughtless, unashamed
Beloved Peanut Butter² does intend
Forever, always being truly – “Friend”
Commentary
Yes, this is a sonnet. Yes, it’s in full iambic pentameter. Yes, it took a long time to write. And yes, I know the act of me writing this might really call into doubt the last line of “Always being truly – “Friend””.
Fun fact – I consider this to be the thing I’m most proud of writing since that blatant rip-off of Lord of the Rings I wrote in the 3rd grade, in which all the characters were gerbils, and all the characters (except, of course, my gerbils) died. ³
In fact, some speculate that this work was the inspiration for Kaila’s masterpiece: “My Brother’s Dead Hamster: A memoir of Rodentcide”.
Footnotes
1.) #StrongerTogether
2.) In his earlier days, it is widely held that this nickname caused much confusion to Landon. This is primarily due to the fact that his home town, in addition to “Gone with the Wind” and the radio, just received peanut butter in the last 2 years.
3.) To be honest, there were only like 20 words in the book – it was really more of a pictorial representation of the heroism of the modern day house pet, and the spite I held for the possessions of others.
Landon Acknowledge Me 