Tom (1:09 pm): How has your day been, Landon

Tom (3:49 pm): Fine, die then

Landon: Cuz ur a moron

Tom: Can I bring snacks?

Landon: Sure

Tom: Can we go to Taco Bell?

Landon: No

Tom: I meant now

Landon: Still no

Tom: On my way

Landon: Pass

Tom: Ah, more of a Wendy’s guy I see

Landon: Ur gross

Tom: You’re intelligent, thoughtful, and a meaningful asset to have in my life

Tom: I’m outside

He asked me where our next adventure would be to.

I said Rhinelander.

That immediately ended the conversation.

Like, I’m sorry – I figured the trees, alcohol, and general lack of a population would give him fond memories of his home town.

I feel like I missed a golden opportunity.

 

 

I wished him a happy Easter.

His response included references to:

• The eternal hellfire
• The loss of God’s favor
• The Weakness of Humanity
• The pride and greed of Lucifer
• The inevitable downfall of mankind brought about by our own unquenchable ambition

It was the single longest message I’ve ever received from him.

Going forward, I’ll make sure to leverage religious angst for future acknowledgement.