He was strangely non-committal to my proposed friendship-trip to Aspen.

Like Jesus, I’m sorry you don’t wanna bro out in a secluded ski cabin.

0/10 acknowledgement.

Apparently “Do Not Disturb” in an office setting is more than just a loose suggestion.

It is also, apparently, not an implicit invitation to send repeated e-mails to that person – supposedly doing this also falls under the umbrella of “Disturbing”.

Who knew?

Hopefully, Landon learns in the future to not pretend to be busy.

Because I have learned nothing.

Landon (12:22 pm): tom

Tom (1:05 pm): Landon

Tom (1:23 pm): Acknowledge

Tom (1:28 pm): Acknowledge

Tom (1:40 pm): Acknowledge

Tom (1:45 pm): Acknowledge

Tom (1:49 pm): You’ll miss me when I’m dead

Tom (1:53 pm): Acknowledge

I passed him on the trail at work today.

I said “LANDON!”

He said “Ughhhhhhh”.

Honestly, it made my morning.

I went back through a previous text message thread to gauge his level of acknowledgement.

He wrote 1 word for every 38 words that I wrote.

He contributed to 2.6% of the conversation.

Given that that’s a whole number percentage, I consider that a win.

#Progress

I decided to go all in on posting on his ultimate frisbee Facebook photos as though we were girl BFF’s:

“BRO “

“UHHH OKAY “

“CAN I BE YOU “

“YOU’RE SO HANDSOME”

“YASSS QUEEN”

“DUDE YOU’RE PERFECTION”

He was less amused than I’d secretly hoped he’d be.

I was just as amused as I’d hoped I’d be.

It’s important to have hobbies.

I drove him to a Wendy’s drive through at 1 in the morning. He told me he didn’t want anything.

So I ordered him something.

He ate none of it.

I ate the first half of it parked outside of his place. Doors locked. Him sitting uncomfortably in the passenger seat. Head against the window. Eyes closed against my friendship.

When done, he literally ran from my car to his door, went inside, and turned off all the lights.

11/10 would do again eagerly.

We went out for a birthday celebration.

He wanted to go home at 11:30.

I kept him in a Taco Bell Drive Through until 12:30.

He got an empanada.

I got literally everything else.

Am still waiting for my thank you.

 

It was his work anniversary today.

In celebration, I provided him multiple offerings of friendship and acknowledgement:

• He gave away the Anniversary Twizzlers
• He didn’t acknowledge the anniversary donuts
• He didn’t open the anniversary chips & salsa
• He didn’t frame the anniversary cutout of my face
• He was under-appreciative of the framed anniversary picture of the two of us together

He ate the anniversary avocado.

Ultimately, a success. Would (will) do again.